all 5 comments

[–]hazy 11 points12 points ago

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I'm not sure what exactly you're responding to in that a lot of trans women want to abolish gender in a lot of different ways. It's important to remember that trans women don't really have the luxury of any cohesive community of our own, much less a coherent worldview.

That said, as one individual trans woman who would like to see certain models of gender burned to the ground, and who is in no way interested in talking for or over other trans women: my feeling is that more genders are a very good thing.

I want to abolish the gender binary because I feel that it reifies toxic roles which alienate people from each other and enable multiple systems of oppression.

I especially want to abolish the gendering of children. I think it's really harmful for adults ritually to reinforce a set of social, sexual, and reproductive roles on a child based on what that child's body is shaped like. I can hardly tell the difference between "normal" gendering and pedosadist grooming now, at 21; when I was 4 they existed on one continuum.

It makes me very happy to see people making kinder and stronger and more revolutionary choices about gender. I entirely support people basing their genders in concepts that are fun and meaningful for them personally.

If I could be nonbinary publicly and survive I would. But it's hard enough to get access to medical care just being brown and poor and a trans woman.

"Other" gender boxes on government documents would be nice. I don't think I'll have any extra energy to put towards it any time soon though.

[–]pushbroom[S] 7 points8 points ago

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yeah I think that abolishing the binary and gendering of children is the better option as abolishing gender as a whole b/c that can be hurtful to nb people

[–]hazy 4 points5 points ago

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Yeah definitely.

I'd like to add that I feel like I expressed myself badly when I finished that post at 3 AM. I came off as dismissive, and I'm very sorry for that. I really do care about instituting more inclusive government documents. I just don't really feel like I'm in a place, or like we're in a place as a movement, where campaigning for that directly would be effective.

I feel strongly that we need to get organized. I think it's important that as many different trans and nonbinary voices as possible come together to establish a mutual understanding of our individual goals. I think that creating a gender praxis which is less nebulous and contentious, and more intersectional, is absolutely vital if we are to make any effective push for changes in legislation.

Basically I think conversations like this one are very important and a high priority. Thank you for reaching out.

[–]pushbroom[S] 5 points6 points ago

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no no it's find it didn't come off as dismissive.

Essentially I see this stff on tumblr reblogged with no commentary from nb people because (at least in my experience) they can be scared to speak up, especially as I don't have that much knowledge of The Theory.

[–]hazy 1 point2 points ago

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Ohh yeah that sounds hard.

I never really got into tumblr (the interface confuses me) but I think you shouldn't worry too much about "The Theory" because anyone who thinks they have a theory which merits the definitive article is probably fooling themselves? Like it's good to have an awareness of other people's perspectives but no one has The One True Gender Theory engraved on stone tablets, and people who act like they do are dangerous.

The ways people think about gender have developed and expanded hugely just in the ~6 years since I came out. Hundreds of new ideas have circulated. I've held dozens of opinions which I remember with embarrassment. I've misspoken frequently and hurt my friends but generally they have been able to make the flaws in my thinking clear to me and I've been able to apologize and things have mostly turned out okay. I still feel like a garbage baby activist a lot of the time but I try not to let that stop me from speaking and acting in defense of vulnerable people in my communities.

I don't think anyone should be silenced because they don't have all the answers. There isn't any way to make your opinion consistent with everyone else's and still be honest. If you're arguing yourself into silence because you might say something wrong you're being way too vigilant. Your experiences are meaningful, your voice is important, and your thoughts are valuable.

[–][deleted] ago

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